I’m dating a guy who is fun to be with, nice, generous and very attentive. At times, he's attractive to me, but at other times, he's not. The problem is that he doesn't fit my mold. I have an education, a good job, make great money, and my life is very organized. He, on the other hand, doesn't have a good education, has an average job (but works very hard), and is extremely unorganized. How do I know if I'm settling for less than I deserve? 

—Am I Settling?

Dear Am I Settling,

This guy is “fun to be with, nice, generous and very attentive.” Yet “he doesn’t fit [your status] mold.” Evolutionary psychology reasons women marry up to provide valued resources for their offspring, and “hypergamy” is an actual word in our language that describes this female striving. So when a woman defies tradition and chooses someone with “less status,” anxiety sets in.

Girl, how this dude treats you is monumental. Yet, you may be more focused on the ritual of making impressions. Instead of worrying whether you’re “settling,” reconsider your readiness to settle down. Permanence mandates the maturity to appreciate a partner’s depth, rather than how others regard him. From the looks of it, you’re not quite ready either to “settle” or to settle down.

 —Dr. Gilda

Do you agree with Dr. Gilda’s advice? Do you have your own? Share it in the comments below.