Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for five months. We met online, and he lives in another town. We see each other occasionally during the week, or on weekends. It’s been five months, and I have yet to be invited to his place, although he has come to mine. He has also been reluctant about meeting my family. Should I be concerned? I have talked about it with him, but have never received a valid response
—Let’s Get On With It!
Girlfriend, apparently, dude is fine with this arrangement. As my Gilda-Gram™ warns, “Talk informs, but behavior reveals.” He hasn’t invited you to his place because he doesn’t want you to know any more about him than you already do. And he hasn’t responded to your whining to get closer because he doesn’t want to even address it. Drop the title “boyfriend,” since this guy you barely know likes the superficiality of whatever it is you share.
You can either wait it out until — and if — he ever comes around, or date other men. For all you know, he’s wildly on the move at his locale. One thing is certain, however: The more you push, the more he’ll pull.
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***About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.