Q: I seem to always find myself in a relationship, even when I'm not looking to be in one. Around the third year, I start to get antsy and seem to sabotage the relationship somehow. We get very close to an engagement and a marriage and I take off running. I've thrown away many wonderful men and relationships and make myself feel like I don't deserve a happily ever after. What's wrong with me?
There are three simple steps to loving: hook ‘em, hug ‘em, and hold ‘em. Apparently, you do the first two quite well. And girl, I know tons of women who’d like to learn your secret of always being in a relationship!
But you’re correct: you feel you don’t deserve love. To pump up your ego—and theirs—you play guys’ heart strings like harp strings. Men stick with you because hunters love the challenge of winning their prey. But three long years of superficial love games? Are you kidding? Either you should win an Oscar, or your paramours are awfully dense!
Reality check, please! You and your men need depth perception. Loving requires mutual caring beyond the shallow wining and dining! How many three-year letdowns do you think your dating life will withstand?
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About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.