My Ex Wants To Be Friends And Roommates

by - 11:54 AM



Q.


My live-in girlfriend ended our relationship, but she has asked me to be friends and not move out. I am in love with her, and am having a hard time letting go. I asked her if we can try to be friends if I do move out. She said no, because she can’t afford the house without me. What do I do?

—Stuck

A.


Dear Stuck,

So your ex wants you as a “friend” with financial benefits?  Excuse me, but what would the benefits of that arrangement be for you? Ex-lovers can never be “friends” right after a breakup because of the errant emotions still hanging loose.

If she can’t afford the house without you, let her find another roommate. She knows how you feel about her, but, as Jo Dee Messina sings, her “give a damn’s busted.” My Gilda-Gram directs, “Seek respect before love.” Girlfriend wants you in her space, but not in her heart. Oh, really? “Selfish user” is what comes to my mind!  Move out, move on, and move up to someone who cares.

—Dr. Gilda


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