Wednesday, July 19, 2017

My Ex Wants To Be Friends And Roommates

Q: My live-in girlfriend ended our relationship, but she has asked me to be friends and not move out. I am in love with her, and am having a hard time letting go. I asked her if we can try to be friends if I do move out. She said no, because she can’t afford the house without me. What do I do?


Dear Stuck,

So your ex wants you as a “friend” with financial benefits?  Excuse me, but what would the benefits of that arrangement be for you? Ex-lovers can never be “friends” right after a breakup because of the errant emotions still hanging loose.

If she can’t afford the house without you, let her find another roommate. She knows how you feel about her, but, as Jo Dee Messina sings, her “give a damn’s busted.” My Gilda-Gram directs, “Seek respect before love.” Girlfriend wants you in her space, but not in her heart. Oh, really? “Selfish user” is what comes to my mind!  Move out, move on, and move up to someone who cares.

—Dr. Gilda

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About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals,, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

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