Q. My husband and his ex-wife have a wildly inappropriate relationship throughout our courtship and marriage. They used to travel together, staying in the same hotel room with their teen kids while he and I were dating. His ex-wife is still in love with him and refuses to acknowledge our marriage. After six years together, I was never allowed to attend any family function until his son's recent college graduation, which I insisted on attending. When she’s in the same room with me, my husband’s ex cries and runs out. Yet he continues spending time with her "for the children" who are grown and living in other states. He says that denying her requests would be cruel, as he “tries to help her and the kids adjust to our marriage.” He does not seem to care if this hurts me. Otherwise, he is a very kind and loving husband. He tells me we have to give her time, but I’m enraged each time she calls. My question is, “Would any other woman on the planet put up with this?”
“Only a woman desperate for love would accept this kind of DE-rangement.”
The answer to your question is, “Only a woman desperate for love would accept this kind of DE-rangement.” Girl, you’ve had your head up the wrong part of your anatomy for years, and your cranial suppository is finally aching. Hubby is divorced only on paper, and he’s lapping up a ménage a trois—with your blessing. You claim “he is a very kind and loving husband.” What are you smoking?? Wake up, speak up, and pack up if Dude throws more excuses at you! But discover WHY you’re so needy for this cad’s caring. If you can’t figure it out yourself, get counseling. Unless you find your motive, you’ll continue being this guy’s pet on a leash.
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About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.