Q.

My now ex-boyfriend and I were together for four years, the last of which we were engaged. We've always had a lot of fights and disagreements, but I thought that was just the way we were, and we got through them.

Then, right in the thick of wedding planning, he told me he isn't happy with himself or our relationship, and he broke up with me. He said he loves me, but he can't be with me anymore. Now we're in the process of dividing up our home, our mutual friends, and four years of love. I want him back, but he says he will never change his mind. Is there anything I can do?

 — Heartbroken

A.

Dear Heartbroken,

Girl, I feel your pain. But no matter how badly you’d like this to work, you can’t Super Glue a disinterested ex to your life.

So to answer your final question in a word: “No!” There’s nothing you can do — but heal. Part of your healing must include analyzing what REALLY went down over the years, and how YOU contributed to the “fights and disagreements.” Chaos is never okay because it’s “the way we were.” Relationships must offer a haven from the turbulent world, not more upheaval. Apparently, boyfriend realized that, and is choosing a new chapter. So should you!

— Dr. Gilda