Why Betrayed Women Exact the Ultimate Revenge on their Lovers
All eyes continue to be on the trial of accused murderer Jodi Arias, where on Friday, it was alleged that she was kept away from the Mormon friends of her lover Travis Alexander and their torrid sex affair was kept secret by Alexander, even as he sent lewd photos of himself to her online.
The testimony in Arias’ trial for killing Alexander in 2008 was intended to bolster the defense’s argument that she killed him in self defense, that Alexander was a sexual deviant who treated Arias as his “dirty little secret.”
Whether you believe she is guilty or innocent, it does bring the subject of women striking out against their lovers, to light.
Dr. Gilda Carle, who writes the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show Website, is delving into the subject of crimes of passion in her upcoming Valentine’s Day special, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” which will air on Investigation Discovery.
Dr. Gilda warns that after watching the special, you’ll understand that even if you have an inkling that someone you’re with is off balance, trust your gut, and find your exit!
And she is right!
We spoke to her to gain a better perspective of what prompts someone to commit a crime of passion; what role domestic violence plays; and how to get out of a destructive relationship.
Dr. Gilda shares her expert tips on how to get out of a destructive relationship
Celebzter: What is the rationale behind love crimes?
Dr.Gilda:There’s rage and jealously in love crimes, and the irrational mind believes the victim deserves to pay.
Celebzter: What are your thoughts about Jodi Arias, do you think she is guilty?
Dr.Gilda: I believe she is guilty. She continues to change her story, and was allegedly raging irrationally because her ex had moved on to another woman.
Celezbter: In your opinion, what makes people snap and commit crime acts as opposed to just simply leaving their significant other?
Dr.Gilda: People who commit crimes want revenge. They want to make the victim suffer as they believe they have.
Celebzter: Would it not just be simpler to leave?
Dr.Gilda: Of course that would be simpler to a rational mind. But most of these people are not rational when they commit a crime.
Celebzter: How much of a role does domestic violence, particularly when women are constantly subjected to it, play in committing a crime?
Dr.Gilda: People who remain in domestic violence situations are beaten down over time. When they finally react, their emotions become out of control.
Celebzter: And what differentiates a person’s personality who commits a crime out of passion, and one who commits one out of revenge?
Dr.Gilda: Passion drives revenge. Have you ever seen someone commit a crime with a nonchalant demeanor? I don’t think so!
Celebzter: Can you tell us a little about the special “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” on Investigation Discovery?
Dr.Gilda: Since I did the show, I’ve become addicted to ID. Man, what programming! It’s the old court TV, but much, much hotter. “50 Ways” is a wild show. And I’m the relationship expert that explains women’s passionate behavior lodged against their cheating men. These women want an eye for an eye—and they get it! It’s a Valentine’s Day special, which airs on Feb.14 at 9pm EST. I hope it scares people enough to quit the violence!! [Check times of the show in your location]
Celebzter: When should a woman immediately leave her lover?
Dr.Gilda: A woman should leave as soon as her lover demeans or minimizes her. A woman’s true power and grace lie in her exit!
Celebzter: And your top 5 ways to leave?
Dr.Gilda: Paul Simon’s well-known song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” says it best. Although you must insert a woman’s name in the lyrics if you’re a woman who’s got to go:
"You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don’t need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don’t need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free."
In other words, don’t belabor the point. If you don’t feel enhanced or safe or respected or loved by some sucker, don’t try the womanly approach attempting to make things better. You’re not your lover’s social worker!! Guys and girls (because guys are battered, as well), you don’t need a twelve-step program. Follow my two-step: Get up, get out! Then never look back. Good luck!!
Below is a clip from “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and to see and read more, please visit www.DrGilda.com