Monday, March 5, 2012




Courtesy of’s Happen Magazine 

Dear Dr. Gilda,

I am a 37-year-old very attractive woman. I have filed 

for divorce and bought a new place for my son and 

myself. Recently, I posted my profile online. I met a 

man who's 52 with two grown kids. We went on 

several dates over the next few weeks and found we 

had a lot in common. What bothered me was
You might be beautiful, but you sure don't understand men.

that it always had to be me to send 


email or a text message to firm up 

our plans. After we slept together, I 

felt the need to talk to him about 

stopping seeing other people or 

hiding our profiles online until we see where our 

relationship was going. 

When I started the conversation, he made a joke out 

of it. He said we can see other people, but only have 

sex with each other. The conversation was going in 

circles. After I came home, I called him and raised the 

question again. I told him I was getting emotionally 

involved and I needed to know where we stood. He 

said he would think about it. Later that night, I sent 

him a text message saying we needed to finish the 

conversation that very night. He texted back, "I hear 

what you are saying, but sadly can't agree with it at 

this point." My reply back was, "We shouldn't see 

each other any more." Was I too hasty?

– Heartbroken Beauty

Dear Heartbroken Beauty,

You might be beautiful, but you sure don't understand 

men. As my Gilda-Gram says, "Men are hunters, and 

hunters need to hunt." They enjoy the uncertainty of 

the chase, and they get especially pumped by having 

to work hard to land their prey. 

You say, "What bothered me was that it always had to 

be me to send an email or a text message to firm up 

our plans." Girlfriend, you've been doing the heavy 

lifting. You didn't even give this guy a chance to firm 

up plans, much less breathe, without you intervening. 

Then, within less than a month, you slept with this 

hunter and immediately followed the sleepover by 

insisting on a committed bond. That was far more 

carcass than he had set out to hunt. Even if a guy 

thought you were the most gorgeous woman on 
Discover what you love to do and pursue it vigorously.

earth, with all that pressure, he'd run 

for them-thar hills. Stunning starlets 

get dumped all the time, but plainer 

gals who understand the hunt are 

forever pursued.

You ask, "Was I too hasty?" Your question refers to 

telling this guy goodbye. But you were indeed too 

hasty in giving up the goods so soon. For this hunter, 

as for all hunters, there was no longer uncertainty in 

the chase, and he just lost interest. I know, I know, 

the next question I always get in my seminars is, 

"Why do I have to play games?" That's the wrong 

interpretation of the hunter's psyche. Don't ever, 

ever, ever play love games! Instead, become so 

immersed in your own fascinating life that anyone 

who knows you will want to share your excitement. 

That's what keeps dudes bonded to women, not their 

superficial exterior!

Here's what I recommend you do now:
  1. Get over beauty as your currency and start developing your inner passions. Discover what you love to do and pursue it vigorously.

  1. Make friends with other women who share your interests and go out with them as often as you date men. Don't be over-invested in finding and "catching" a man.

  1. Play the field without trying to rush serious romance. Nature's hand doesn't tug at the roots to make its flowers grow. Everything happens in its own (and perfect) time.

Women who are interesting attract partners who are 

interested. If you're more intrigued by a man than he 

is by you, back off. Let him take the time to 

appreciate you for the prize you are, which you will 

be, once you contribute something substantive to the 

mix that won't fade over time. 

Dr. Gilda


DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is the internationally known 

Relationship Expert to the Stars.  Speak to her at 

No comments: