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Monday, March 5, 2012

DO I EXPECT TOO MUCH?

"ASK DR. GILDA":  


DO I EXPECT TOO MUCH?





Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine 





Dear Dr. Gilda,


I am a 37-year-old very attractive woman. I have filed 


for divorce and bought a new place for my son and 


myself. Recently, I posted my profile online. I met a 


man who's 52 with two grown kids. We went on 


several dates over the next few weeks and found we 


had a lot in common. What bothered me was
You might be beautiful, but you sure don't understand men.


that it always had to be me to send 


an 


email or a text message to firm up 


our plans. After we slept together, I 


felt the need to talk to him about 


stopping seeing other people or 


hiding our profiles online until we see where our 


relationship was going. 






When I started the conversation, he made a joke out 


of it. He said we can see other people, but only have 


sex with each other. The conversation was going in 


circles. After I came home, I called him and raised the 


question again. I told him I was getting emotionally 


involved and I needed to know where we stood. He 


said he would think about it. Later that night, I sent 


him a text message saying we needed to finish the 


conversation that very night. He texted back, "I hear 


what you are saying, but sadly can't agree with it at 


this point." My reply back was, "We shouldn't see 


each other any more." Was I too hasty?


– Heartbroken Beauty




Dear Heartbroken Beauty,



You might be beautiful, but you sure don't understand 


men. As my Gilda-Gram says, "Men are hunters, and 


hunters need to hunt." They enjoy the uncertainty of 


the chase, and they get especially pumped by having 


to work hard to land their prey. 




You say, "What bothered me was that it always had to 



be me to send an email or a text message to firm up 


our plans." Girlfriend, you've been doing the heavy 


lifting. You didn't even give this guy a chance to firm 


up plans, much less breathe, without you intervening. 


Then, within less than a month, you slept with this 


hunter and immediately followed the sleepover by 


insisting on a committed bond. That was far more 


carcass than he had set out to hunt. Even if a guy 


thought you were the most gorgeous woman on 
Discover what you love to do and pursue it vigorously.




earth, with all that pressure, he'd run 


for them-thar hills. Stunning starlets 


get dumped all the time, but plainer 


gals who understand the hunt are 


forever pursued.


You ask, "Was I too hasty?" Your question refers to 



telling this guy goodbye. But you were indeed too 


hasty in giving up the goods so soon. For this hunter, 


as for all hunters, there was no longer uncertainty in 


the chase, and he just lost interest. I know, I know, 


the next question I always get in my seminars is, 


"Why do I have to play games?" That's the wrong 


interpretation of the hunter's psyche. Don't ever, 


ever, ever play love games! Instead, become so 


immersed in your own fascinating life that anyone 


who knows you will want to share your excitement. 


That's what keeps dudes bonded to women, not their 


superficial exterior!


Here's what I recommend you do now:
  1. Get over beauty as your currency and start developing your inner passions. Discover what you love to do and pursue it vigorously.

  1. Make friends with other women who share your interests and go out with them as often as you date men. Don't be over-invested in finding and "catching" a man.

  1. Play the field without trying to rush serious romance. Nature's hand doesn't tug at the roots to make its flowers grow. Everything happens in its own (and perfect) time.


Women who are interesting attract partners who are 

interested. If you're more intrigued by a man than he 

is by you, back off. Let him take the time to 

appreciate you for the prize you are, which you will 

be, once you contribute something substantive to the 

mix that won't fade over time. 

Love,
Dr. Gilda


XXX

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is the internationally known 

Relationship Expert to the Stars.  Speak to her at 































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