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Friday, September 9, 2011

The ONLY 5 Reasons to Get Naked with Someone


The ONLY 5 Reasons to Get Naked with Someone

by

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)



How many of us (myself included!) have let our guard down too soon and fallen for the promises of passion . . . only to regret it in the morning?  If you're part of the human race, raise your hand as guilty!!  In this Match.com column, I dissect when it's okay and when it's not!!  


PLEASE LET ME HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.


XXX




The heat is on (romantic heat between you and your new love, that is)—and you’re in h-e-a-v-e-n! Your relationship is clearly heading toward the bedroom, but before you two head in there, slow down for a second. When you awake from your lust, will you question, “What was I thinking??” 


If you’re the kind of person who isn’t comfortable with casual sex and only wants to get naked with prospective long-term partners, let me share some 
Ask yourself: Do I feel emotionally safe yet?
advice. Prevent your heart from being trashed by thinking clearly before you do the deed. Ask yourself: Are you ready to get naked with this person? Are you sure? Consider these five reasons that reveal you’re really, truly, undoubtedly, and unequivocally ready to disrobe! If one of them suits your situation, go for it... if you can’t check any of them off, you may want to slow down and take a wait-and-see attitude. 




Reason #1: You feel emotionally safe with your sweet thing
Alice went out a few times with a guy who was bonkers over her. That in itself was an ego trip. He was brilliant and had a high-level job at a prestigious organization, which was the subject of enormously stimulating conversation. They also laughed a lot. In short, he was a pleasure to be with.


Although Alice and he were always clothed, he complimented her body often. Then he would criticize his former girlfriend, a rather famous lady, saying what an awful body shehad. Alice was appalled that he would degrade someone he had once cared for. Although he was wonderful to her to her face, his nasty critiques of his ex were a turn-off. She stopped seeing him because she felt she would never feel safe from his denigrations should their relationship go the way his last one did.


Feeling emotionally safe is vital before getting naked. I doubt that Famous Lady would have felt safe with this guy had she known how he would debase her once their coupledom was kaput. Remember my Gilda-Gram: Feeling emotionally safe means feeling emotionally protected—which is necessary in love.


Reason #2: You know your honey will still be your honey later, after you’re clothed
In a Seinfeld episode, Elaine described how her sweetie-for-the-night ran out of her bed early in the morning. She likened guys who do this to being farmers who feel they must tend their land before sunrise. Some too, exit early after a night of play. And it can erode even a sturdy self-image—if you allow that to happen. When a night of passion is followed by what might seem like icy abandonment, ...





Please continue reading @ http://t.co/TpVMQT2 and let me hear YOUR experiences!!


XXX





DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson.  She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.”  She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for FidelityHow to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing.  DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!”  She is currently developing her own TV show.  Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!



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