Hey, Single Dudes,
Are your online profiles and words of introduction to women online getting you the results you want? Most people are clueless about how their words are interpreted by the opposite sex. Check out some real women's reactions to some guys' come-ons. Not exactly TURN-ons!! I hope this impacts you in some way! Let me hear your thoughts.
WORDS ONLINE THAT TURN SINGLE WOMEN OFF!
Dr. Gilda Carle (Ph.D.)
Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine
Online dating can be fun, and many marriages have come out of it. But too often, I receive emails from frustrated single men like this one: "I've tried everything to be appealing online, but I seldom even get a response. What am I doing wrong? Am I too honest? Too old? Too repulsive? Too set in my ways? PLEASE HELP ME!"
When I work with singles on their profiles, I find that they are often unaware that some of the words they have used in their essays can actually be turn-offs to potential dates. Read these 10 examples below — some of them are doozies, but they all come from real profiles belonging to guys that are presumably looking for love:
1. Words that hint at your childish ways.
John posted a profile that said "I'm a boy in a man's body," figuring his "cuteness" would entice a lady to love him (and also mother the little boy in him). However, he got no takers. Most grown-up women don't fancy childish Peter Pan types. If you're looking for a mother figure, try scoping out a playground — not a dating site.
2. Words that reveal how you objectify women.
When Carl saw Lois online, he wrote her an email that said, "You are so beautiful, I'd like to drape you on my arm." Lois replied with: "What? You have me confused with a sweater." Carl defended himself, explaining that what he was trying to say "came out wrong" — but he didn't attempt to explain what he did mean originally. Making a bad outreach attempt even worse, Carl said, "Let's have dinner. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll still pay." Now with this missive, Carl had attempted to buy himself some superficial love for the cheap price of a meal. Women don't want to feel like an ornament to be displayed and fed, so naturally, Lois never responded.
3. Words that suggest you have a short fuse.
Karen received an introductory message from Robert via an online dating site. After reading his profile, she thought he seemed nice but dull, so she didn't reply — but Robert wouldn't give up. He sent Karen another message, saying, "Hi, Blondie. I sent you a message. Still waiting to hear from you. Be a sport and answer back." Karen gagged on this guy's crass familiarity. "Blondie?" she thought, still ignoring him. Robert sent a third message — but this time, he extended his fangs: "What's the matter, Blondie? Not good enough for you? You don't know what you're missing. At your age, you shouldn't be so finicky. Your loss, Sweetheart." Karen finally did respond after that — by blocking Robert permanently.
4. Words that imply you'll do whatever she asks to up your appeal.
Marge's profile photo showed her holding her dog. Moe wrote to her, saying that he loved dogs and was a card-carrying member of the ASPCA. Marge's profile also stated she worked with the homeless. Moe wrote Marge again, this time boasting that he financially supported a homeless family. Marge's profile detailed her love for workouts at her gym. Moe then wrote a third time, telling her . . .
DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson. She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.” She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing. DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!” She is currently developing her own TV show. Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!