SHOULD SHE LOAN MONEY TO HER NEW GUY??
One divorced mom finally found her match, but the timing makes her think something fishy is going on. Should she offer to pay his bills while they figure things out?
DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)
Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine
Dear Dr. Gilda,
I’m a divorced 44-year-old mother of two sons, ages 12 and 8. I met this tall, handsome, great guy recently and I fell head over heels in love with him. He says he likes me, but he's not in love with me yet. He has been straight up about everything in his life so far. He was scheduled to move to another state to run a family business before we met, but he decided he wants to stay here now to give our relationship a chance.
My guy had his electricity scheduled to be turned off at his home, and had already quit his job here. But since he isn't moving, he now has to start the job search all over again. I have been dating him for a month now, so should I loan him a few thousand dollars to help him out? I figure this relationship has a chance only if I give him time for his feelings to develop, and if I give him space to work through his financial issues first. He is very open and honest about everything, but I am unsure if I should loan him money, as I am struggling myself. I really love him, but I am nervous. What should I do?
Lost in Love
Dear Lost in Love,
Goodness, girl, it's only been a month and you're ready to become this dude's banker! What do you know about him, besides his being tall and handsome? You say he's "great," but until you get to know him over time, you won't really know that. Thankfully, he's using the old "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line — except in your case, it's still only at the "I like you…" stage. I say "thankfully" because …
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DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson. She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.” She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing. DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!” She is currently developing her own TV show. Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!